Yukon Humour Stories

  • P1-2019-11-01-KenBolton-GV-MushroomSuit.jpg

    Issue: 2019-11-20, PHOTO: Pixabay

    In the right sauce, mine could be a corpus delicious

    Never, in any previous column, have I considered the need to provide a trigger warning. Regular visitors to Geezerville are generally mature, clear-minded and emotionally stable enough to put up with whatever nonsense I spill into this 450-word frame Read more

    Nov. 20, 2019

  • P1-2019-09-20-JosephineHolmes-IO-NotMyCircus.jpg

    Issue: 2019-11-20, PHOTO: Pixabay

    Not my circus …

    Send in the … elephants. I can’t help it; as a little girl I disliked clowns. And I didn’t trust them. What child doesn’t love a clown? I think it had something to do with their makeup and that I really couldn’t “read” them. Read more

    Nov. 20, 2019

  • P1-2019-08-21-CareyMarshall-SundayMorningThunder.jpg

    Issue: 2019-11-20, PHOTO: Pixabay

    When counting sheep doesn’t help to sleep - but this method might not either …

    I was watching a World War Two documentary the other day and it showed an apartment building in France that had been damaged by German bombs early in the morning. The building was still intact, except that the entire front wall was missing. Read more

    Nov. 20, 2019

  • P1-2019-11-01-DeborahMcNevin-GM-OnlineConnections.jpg

    Issue: 2019-11-13, PHOTO: Deborah McNevin

    Online connections

    In the old days–good or otherwise–interpersonal connections were via letter or phone or face-to-face. Now there are any number of interactions that can take place online and can lead to connections with real people. Read more

    Nov. 13, 2019

  • P1-2019-10-18-KenBolton-GV-Expertise.jpg

    Issue: 2019-11-13, PHOTO: Pixabay

    In praise of those who actually know what they’re doing

    This morning, Kyle showed up with his bulging leather tool belt, his cordless shop vacuum, and a clutch of 16x25x1 furnace filters. It’s one of those annual rituals I’ve come to both welcome and dread. Read more

    Nov. 13, 2019

  • P1-2019-10-18-KenBolton-GV-Flibbergibbet.jpg

    Issue: 2019-11-06, PHOTO: Pixabay

    Taking flibberties with the (Widdle) English language

    How do you solve a problem like “flibbertigibbet?” Unless you had a grandmother like mine, that’s a word you’d probably never heard before Oscar Hammerstein II used it to describe a postulant manquée named Maria... Read more

    Nov. 06, 2019

  • P1-2019-10-10-DennisAllen-DR-Anaatquuq.jpg

    Issue: 2019-11-06, PHOTO: Pixabay

    Deals with the Anaatquuq

    As a musician, you put yourself out there in the public and you have to be ready to appease your fans. That means answering questions after the show. The most common question I get is, “How long have you been playing?” Read more

    Nov. 06, 2019

  • P1-2019-10-02-KenBolton-GV-CellphoneWithdrawal.jpg

    Issue: 2019-10-16, PHOTO: Pixabay

    Something’s missing, but I don’t know what

    I love my cellphone. Let me rephrase that. I am addicted to my cellphone. I’m enslaved by it. In its absence, I feel abandoned, disoriented, slightly less than a whole person. Read more

    Oct. 16, 2019

  • P1-2019-10-03-DanDavidson-KK-Clocks.jpg

    Issue: 2019-10-16, PHOTO: Dan Davidson

    Time marches on, but backwards sometimes

    There’s a significant date that is fast approaching. No, I’m not talking about the election on Oct. 21, though that is an important date. A week or so later though, on Nov. 3, we’ll face the annual chore of adjusting to Standard Time. Read more

    Oct. 16, 2019

  • P1-2019-07-10-DougSackPt6-RavenMythology.jpg

    Issue: 2019-10-16, PHOTO: Pixabay

    The Joy of Northern Kleptoparasiticpredation

    There are two sides to every story, sometimes more. Entry-level journalism students are taught, ad nauseum, by wizened old editors to strive to present both, or all of these sides Read more

    Oct. 16, 2019

  • P1-2019-09-10-JosephineHolmes-YS-MudInYourEye.jpg

    Issue: 2019-10-16, PHOTO: Pixabay

    Here’s mud in your eye …

    I had cataract surgery; you know, where they pop out your lens and pop in a new and improved one. Out with the old, in with the new and all in a matter of minutes. Read more

    Oct. 16, 2019

  • P1-2019-10-02-KenBolton-GV-BernieAndNick.jpg

    Issue: 2019-09-25, PHOTO: Pixabay

    Another opening, et cetera

    Six hours after I email this column to Danny Macdonald, and long before you read it in What’s Up Yukon, these words by Cole Porter from the 1948 Broadway smash, Kiss Me, Kate, will be part of my remembered experience: Read more

    Sep. 25, 2019

  • P1-2019-06-28-CareyMarshall-ChainRestaurant.jpg

    Issue: 2019-09-04, PHOTO: Pixabay

    Chain of demand

    I arrived in Inuvik for the first time in early July 1972. What first struck me as I toured the town was A) the 24 hours of sunlight and B) how closed off the town felt without a highway. It felt like even more of a no man’s land when I looked at it Read more

    Sep. 04, 2019

  • P2-2019-07-30-DennisAllen-DR-HomeVisit.jpg

    Issue: 2019-08-28, PHOTO: Tania Liu on

    A Tuk load of memories

    I was back home in Inuvik this summer and I took the opportunity to drive to Tuk for the first time. It always hits close to the bone whenever I am there. Read more

    Aug. 28, 2019

  • P1-2019-07-24-KenBolton-GV-CoffinMaking2.jpg

    Issue: 2019-08-21, PHOTO: Pixabay

    It may be ugly, but someday I might call it home

    I recently wrote about my new vocation as a DIY coffin maker. OK, strictly speaking it’s not a coffin. It’s a casket. On a draped bier. Read more

    Aug. 21, 2019

  • P1-2019-07-10-KenBolton-GV-CoffinMaking.jpg

    Issue: 2019-08-14, PHOTO: Pixabay

    Summer in Geezerville is anything but dead

    Things sometimes turn on a dime. Recently, with only three days’ notice, my summer job as a kiddie-train engineer suddenly vanished in a puff of steam-engine smoke. I won’t dwell on the details, except to say I was disappointed. Read more

    Aug. 14, 2019

  • P2-2019-06-27-DougSack-Pt5-RavenMythology.jpg

    Issue: 2019-07-31, PHOTO: Donar Reiskoffer via Wikimedia Commons

    Interview with the raven, part one

    Do you solemnly swear the testimony you are about to give is the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you Odin? Read more

    Jul. 31, 2019

  • P1-2019-02-21-CareyMarshall-Bootlegger.jpg

    Issue: 2019-07-31, PHOTO: Pixabay

    No blues for this bootlegger

    One afternoon, in the mid-70s in Inuvik, I was looking for some oddball thing for my vehicle. I looked almost everywhere and then I decided to go see John, a local who owned one of the taxi companies. Read more

    Jul. 31, 2019

  • P1-2019-06-12-KenBolton-GV-SquirrelChauffeur.jpg

    Issue-2019-07-10, PHOTO: Pixabay

    Spread the word - free peanuts on Park Street

    They say the fastest land mammal of all is the cheetah, capable of running as fast as 120 km/h without breaking a sweat. But “they” are wrong. Read more

    Jul. 10, 2019

  • P1-2019-06-05-KenBolton-GV-BellyButtons.jpg

    Issue: 2019-07-03, PHOTO: Pixabay

    This is what I think about that - Just saying

    Opinions are like belly buttons. Everybody has one. Except Adam and Eve, reportedly. Even a casual glance at Facebook, Twitter, or similar social media platforms confirms a disturbing fact: opinions are actually far more numerous than belly buttons. Read more

    Jul. 03, 2019

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