They ate my soul at the summer parade
They drenched it first in marinade
They cut it into little bits
They served it with a couple of Ritz
The mayor raised his glass of Spanish wine
Said, “My, my, my, this soul is fine”
The crowd roared with its approval
At my soul’s untimely removal
Seasons come and seasons go
Farmers reap and farmers sow
But there’s just one thing I want to know
Where did my lost vitality go?
They cut off my arm at the winter fair
It left me feeling somewhat bare
They prodded it with a metal appliance
They said it was all in the name of science
When I awoke from my anesthetic din
I noticed I was short a limb
They warned me I might become somewhat bereft
“But at least,” they said, ”we took off the left.”
Seasons come and seasons go
Farmers reap and farmers sow
But there’s just one thing I want to know
Where did my lost vitality go?
They put my brain in a jar at the autumn ball
I barely remember it happening at all
Now my mental capacities are quite inhibited
Because my mind is being exhibited
As for compensation, they made me a deal
“We’ll make you a sandwich if you just don’t squeal”
“Or maybe he’d prefer a gin and tonic”
It’s just too bad I was catatonic
Seasons come and seasons go
Farmers reap and farmers sow
But there’s just one thing I want to know
Where did my lost vitality go?
They poked out my eyes at the spring shindig
“Approximately the size of an average fig”
They attached them to a pair of glasses
And made funny faces for the kindergarten classes
I felt quite violated violated by my lack of sight
And informed Amnesty International about my plight
Now I’ll never drive any Mercedes Benzes
But I’ll save a fortune on contact lenses