Makes Sense Tomorrow columnist Anthony Trombetta is a local comedian.
He is also involved with Theatre.
I’d like to be shot into space. Allow me to clarify: when I shuffle off my mortal coil, I’d like that coil to be shoved into whatever receptacle is handy and then I would like that container sent off into the cosmos. Likely some of you are wondering: “Say chum, the scuttlebutt about town is …
He Wants to Leave This World When He Leaves This World Read More »
This year I will completely, absolutely and wholeheartedly do my best to not start my articles with hyperbole! Indeed, for an opening joke, I chose a particularly weak one … call your ombudsman. I have quite a lot on my mind as time marches forward into 2008. You see, this year I’ll be taking a …
I’ve come to realize that atheism sure ain’t that sexy. When you compare all the trappings and incentives that other belief systems have, we come up pretty short. You don’t hear of teens packing an arena to hear the latest atheist rock band. “Here’s our next song – How entropy will bring about heat death …
Attention CBC Television fans: Stop watching Royal Canadian Air Farce! Please. I’ve long felt the need to clearly and confidently state, with the utmost of sincerity, that Air Farce is a terrible show. I say this with a truly noble intent, my friends. Whereas most of us consumers of comedy media know fully well that …
I love science. From government-sponsored labs to guys in their basements trying to rig together a personal jet pack, I must send a shout out to the people who chose the scientific path in life. ‘Cause really, there’s no way I would be able to sit through years of higher learning to work at unlocking …
Watching Extras will make you a better person. Well, maybe not, but if you took the time to watch Ricky Gervais’ comedic opus from start to its concluding special, you will have seen one of the greatest comedies on television. True story. This made me wonder about the state of Canadian comedy and, in particular, …
Canadian Humour Lives Between Internal and External Read More »
“The Last Potluck. Catchy isn’t it?” The man behind the cluttered desk utters this phrase while framing an invisible marquee with his hands. “I wish I could afford a marquee,” says Morty Mungden, manager for roots/folk/emotronic Yukon supergroup Dandelion Wreath. “Those things are classy. Right now I got my car parked in the abandoned parking …
Yukon Supergroup, Dandelion Wreath, Says Goodbye Read More »
Deep down in the cockles of my President’s Choice Deluxe White Cheddar macaroni and cheese clogged heart, there’s a yearning for some recognition. But not for myself. My need to perform is juxtaposed with my general shyness and predilection for reclusivity. I’m talking about a group of young folks out there that I can be …
I’m finally getting some good sleep these days. Recently, I was stage-managing the incredible Varietease show at the Guild: a cavalcade of comedy, song and, indeed, titillation. This basically amounted to many long evenings that blended into each other as we moved closer and closer to show time. By the time we were nearing the …
I had a dream last night that I was at a Yakov Smirnoff show with my mother. I sure hope this wasn’t forecasting any kind of future. Not that I wouldn’t love to go to a show with my mother, I’ve evolved well past the point where I can now be comfortably seen in public …
I find the term “Outside” very strange. At first, when I had arrived in the territory, people would use the term, almost as if they were talking about someone being committed. “Oh, he’s going Outside,” they would say, sagely nodding their heads. Once I caught the drift of the term, I wondered how long it …
Perspective, use it or lose it. I pulled that one from my dog-eared copy of Illusions, by Richard Bach. It’s a fun read that takes a little more time expounding on the feathery philosophies he was discussing in his more famous work, Jonathan Livingston Seagull. I usually pick up the book once a year and …
Farewell, We Hardly Knew Ye … Heck, He Hardly Knew Ye-self Read More »
Naturally, I miss the Yukon. To be specific, it certainly wouldn’t be the weather (heh … sorry), but far more importantly, the people.
“How’d you get here? Why’d you stay?” Ubiquitous phrases heard in the Yukon indeed. With the sheer number of transients coming through the territory, it’s a natural inclination to pose these questions to the ever-increasing population of the North. The getting there. Some people have long stories, grand tales of wanderlust adventuring, where they suddenly, …
November 4th, the world breathed a sigh of relief. No longer will we have to awkwardly avoid the United States in the UN cafeteria, picking up our trays and wandering over to the back of the room to sit with Botswana. We can hopefully go back to the good ol’ days, those halcyon days; the …
The first time I saw Rob Stalkie take the stage, I could tell he was a natural. And now, only one short year later, this young comedian has fought through some of the toughest competition to be crowned the “Last Comic Standing” in the Yukon. “I don’t know if I’m the Yukon’s funniest,” says Stalkie. …
Here’s a new game for the territory’s impending dinner party season. Next time you trudge over to the neighbours — gluten-free pasta salad in tow — have a look at your host’s CD rack. Or, if they’ve advanced into more modern areas, skim their iPod playlist. Scrutinize enough music libraries in the Yukon and you’ll …
Music To Your Ears is in the Eye of the Beholder Read More »
Our wacky pals to the south have a new man at the helm. Barack Obama’s inauguration surpassed any ordinary bureaucratic ceremony, to become one of the grandest events in United States history. There were likely thousands of Obama parties across Canada, just wanting to be part of this huge moment in history. Having recently spent …
This summer, I discovered I had an unconscience reason for leaving the Yukon. I was sitting in a Winnipeg movie theatre, my body comfortably slumped into the plush reclining seat. I stretched my legs (I know! There was ROOM!) and readied myself for the usual onslaught of trailers for films I’d likely not care to …
I am a geek. I’ve travelled the length and breadth of the geeky spectrum. In my teens I was cooping myself up in darkened basements, surrounded by junk food and simulated adventuring detritus. My equally dorky pals would pour through ludicrously detailed rule books, while we argued over endless arcane vagaries. From comic books and …
Perspective – use it or lose it. Words I’ve been pondering quite a lot lately. Recently I was noticing how much I dwelt on things I’ve left behind in the Yukon. While I was on a grand new adventure, I couldn’t help but resent having to re-establish myself in a new community. You could say …
I’m a walking mass of contagion. Well, if I were honest, I’m currently reclining on an IKEA futon, propped up precisely so that I don’t leak mucous onto the keyboard. I got a good ol’ “knock you on your arse” cold. More than just your usual sniffles, I have the kind of infection that makes …
It has come to my attention that Canada is cold. Or, more to the point, people have needed to direct my attention to this fact – on numerous occasions. If I scour my generally addled brain for a distant memory of my first move to the Yukon, it’s filled with potentially dire warnings. “But – …
When I was a wage slave, the call of Friday happy-hour escapism was like aural honey to my ears. After a few years in the YTG system, I could proudly say my paper-shuffling skills were unmatchable. (I can make it look like I’m furiously working while doing nothing at all.) It also helped that no …
So, I’ve mentioned it before: I’m lousy at making friends. Growing up a quiet geek doesn’t lend well to the pal-collecting abilities and now that I’ve advanced in age (thanks entropy), things are a little awkward. I just don’t really recall how it all works and the thought of getting back into the friend-making game …
“You can’t please ’em all.” Now there’s an oft-spouted aphorism from the comedy world, lemme tell you. This is a general kind of excuse you can drop to someone who has walked off the stage, not to thunderous applause but to deafening silence. Welcome to the wonderful world of bombing. I find stand-up comedy far …
I once made the happy mistake of surfing on eBay, shall we say, under the influence. I say “mistake” as I found out, in a haze the next day, that I had won an online auction for something to the tune of 150 dollars. But I say it was a happy accident as, a few …
This recent Easter long weekend, during the longest bout I might have ever had exclusively wearing pajamas, I had an interesting revelation. I mean, there’s a lot of navel gazing that can be accomplished with four days off of work and there’s only so much gaming one can do in one sitting. (Must be gettin’ …
Did you feel it? Once again, the nation shared a moment of polarization. We were all united in our disdain for the States. And it all came from a little Fox News commentary show called Red Eye. The host, Greg Gutfeld, and his panel spent their time insulting Canada and, in particular, our Armed Forces. …
It had to happen. After all, it was only a matter of time. This is the sad lament of someone’s subculture becoming even more dorky than its original conception. Yes, I’m talking about gamers. And by “gamers”, I’m encompassing the entire spectrum of geekery – from rolling mitt-fulls of dice, in darkened basements, to making …
I’m coming out of the closet – again. This time, for far-nobler purposes than atheism. Indeed, I have found a much-maligned part of society that deserves our complete recognition, adulation and undue attention. I enjoy reality shows … Now let’s just freakin’ admit to each other that we all love them, too. Can we? Can …
As we speak (’cause “read together” sounds kinda weird), I have Facebook open on another window. I’m trying hard not to check it. Indeed, I am one of “those” – one of those people who actually waste their time stalking friends, vague acquaintances and various exes on the extremely popular and widely vilified website known …
It’s a Living, Breathing, Social-Networking Thing Read More »
So I went on this website to see when I’d die. The Internet, being the general purveyor of naked people and random crotch shots, can also tell you how long you’ll have to live. You simply enter a little personal data. You type in your age, history of disease in your family and, generally, how …
Right now, a blinking cursor is doing its very best to drive me insane. This cursor, constantly sitting at the very end of my thoughts, echoes inside my skull like the flashing “12:00” on my microwave, its only purpose to nag at me that I still have a good 450 words to write. I’ve got …
Heading into summer = a wonderful time. And no matter how much extraneous snow may continue to fall, nothing can dampen the spirit of the truly gung-ho. This is the time when calendars come out, the grand trips are planned and all the winter’s empties head to the recycling depot for a sweet boost of …
I can’t say I’m one who watches my weight. I mean, where’s it gonna go? (Zing!) I’ve had the same basic kind of body shape since hitting puberty. A slightly rotund body, finished off with stick arms and chicken legs. I ain’t no Mr. Universe, but at least I’ve had the same pant size for …
A dream I’ve held since childhood has been quashed. It’s with much regret that I must inform all of you that my letter of interest to join the Paranormal Saskatoon research group has gone unanswered. It’s been three weeks since I sent off the e-mail. “Hello, I just heard your group’s interview on CBC, and …
I’m generally not one to gauge the success of my summer by small degrees, but there are certain small, simple moments that make life grand. Allow me to paint you a picture. There is a nary a breeze in the parking lot of the Travelodge hotel. Perched right on the edge of town, it hails …
Nothing Screams Summer Louder than, Well … Summer! Read More »
I was in my hotel room in The Pas, Manitoba, when I heard the news. Michael Jackson had passed away. Rather than conveying any sign of shock, I merely muttered a “Really?” to the image of CNN’s Wolf Blitzer, working his way through a never-ending parade of commentators. Feel free to attribute to me any …
Crystal Light has become my new best friend. You see, you can take your mundane water right from the tap and, one powdery package later, you have one instant ticket to flavour country! Even as my two fingers scurry across the keyboard, my taste buds are enjoying a journey of tangerine goodness. I don’t usually …
Times New Roman, that’s how I roll. In the world of font, I know I’m backing one tired, old horse. But there’s something undeniably comforting in its blandness. There’s no impression of subterfuge or arrogance; it’s just a font that’s there to get the job done. I appreciate that. It happens to be the font …
I miss my trailer year. When my wife and I wanted to get a place to call our own, in Whitehorse, a quick perusal of the rental market slowly filled us with dismay. (Before anyone gets too confused, we’re not actually married, but stand-up bits scan a whole heck of a lot better with the …
As I shove my hands into the remnants of last night’s revelry, dripping what can only be described as garbage juice, I mouth what may not be necessarily words, but sounds that still express the emotional quotient of my current well-being. “Ewww! Ugh!” and my Mad-magazine-approved favourite, “Blecch!” This is the last day of the …
The hue and cry was heard across the world. It was the proposal that reached into the foundations of many a childhood and gave it a good shaking; indeed, you might have heard: Archie proposed to Veronica. For over 50 years and 600 issues, the backbone of the Archie-verse had always been the constant love …
I know I get attached to my clothes. Sometimes it can be quite literal, as like most dudes, I would wear my favourite clothing until it disintegrates off my body. Indeed, to the chagrin of my wife, I have an assortment of clothing that really should not be seen outside. Some items in particular could …
Bonjour! Si t’était pas au courant, je suis le régissuer pour la production de Bonneau et la Bellehumeur pour La Troupe Du Jour, une compagnie de théatre à Saskatoon. I’m pretty sure I spelled all that decently enough. To more or less translate: I’ve recently taken on stage-managing for a Francophone theatre company’s touring show. …
Run-on sentence alert! You know those times where you’re walking down the street and you’ve got your eyes looking down and you realize that you’re about to run into someone, but still keeping your head down, you try to get out of their way while they’re doing the exact same thing, resulting in you and …
You may discover an ‘unknown friend’ out there … Read More »
Barring the whole atheism thing, I swear on a giant stack of Bibles that the next paragraph is completely true. Scanning the BBC News website recently, one article in particular leapt out and grabbed my attention. It seems that Father Gabriel Funes, the director of the Vatican Observatory, made a statement in the official Vatican …
For a skeptic, I sure do scare easy. While I stand by the tenet that “extraordinary claims require extraordinary proof”, it really doesn’t take all that much to scare the living bejeebers out of me. I’m a nerd. Suspending my disbelief is a part of my genetic code. Look at horror movies. Most of us …
The emo wreath of skulls and black flowers hanging off our front door says it all. Halloween is coming. Fortean times have arrived. The real boon of this holiday isn’t just about recycling those old black and orange wrapped toffee candies. (Speaking of which, someone should carbon-date those things. I’m pretty sure we’ve been communally …
There’s been a bit of drama going on in the comedy world I now live in. A certain headlining comic was caught red-handed (mouthed?) stealing material from two other comics. Both jokes were told on stage word-for-word, so there’s absolutely no doubt that this was a case of parallel thought. Different comics coming up with …
I’ve been hiding from most people these days. Not from the usual retreat into my hermitage as I’m generally wont to do – oh no. I’ve become somewhat of a pariah. Here’s the thing – I didn’t like Avatar. Maybe you’ve heard of it? From the man that gave us the 90’s cutting edge Terminator …
Recently, I came across something particularly interesting while engaged in my usual morning “Face-stalking”. For those not familiar with the term, it refers to one using a highly popular social networking site to catch up on the various goings-on of their friends, by reading their status updates, without having actually to bother calling them. Handy …
Man, could I ever have used a Rendezvous this year. The past month was a particularly dark sinkhole of a time for yours truly, and unfortunately these flatlanders in the town they call “Toon”, only seem to get together and celebrate when the Riders are on the field. I’m not sure exactly how February got …
The world’s biggest brainiac’s latest bombshell has got me thinking. Professor Stephen Hawking certainly piqued the interest of all tin-foil hat wearers across the globe by suggesting that a visit from alien space farers would land us in a heap of space pirate trouble, rather than a peaceful hand-shaking photo-op in front of the UN. …
It’s early. I’m walking across the Riverdale Bridge in Whitehorse, just about three hours shy of the ten-minute morning rush hour. 5:30 in the am. There isn’t a car in sight, and the lack of wind only pronounces the gurgling sound of the river. Considering how rare it is to be comfortable outside so early …
I like to think I’m a gentler, kinder sort of atheist. In my two years out of the territory, I took a lot of time to really think about the line I drew in the religious sand. I was pleasantly surprised to find how much my views have changed. In some parts you could say …
Has my gast ever been flabbered! Trolling through Randy Quaid’s IMDB (Internet Movie Database) listing, I was shocked to discover that someone already had the incredible foresight to green light “Christmas Vacation 2.” And I had had high hopes we were going to make that sequel here in Canada. For those of you who have …
Before I seem like more of a curmudgeon than I actually am, allow me to state right off the bat: I’m not against New Year’s resolutions. I just know they ain’t for me. Not that you should necessarily follow my track, lying on the couch in a turkey-induced coma. I just know that as we …
You usually have two choices with your past: you can let it either haunt or inform you. Certainly one choice is likely healthier, perhaps nobler than the other, as we all progress to becoming happy, balanced individuals. Upon much reflection on the subject of my past, I’ve been examining both angles, worrying on the same …
My name is Anthony, and I love meat. This past holiday season I was granted a Christmas miracle: a miracle of the meaty kind. Some friends and I were pulling into Edmonton from a stand-up comedy gig in High Level, Alberta. For those geographically challenged, that’s an eight-hour drive, straight up, pretty much scraping the …
Well, talk about putting the civil back into civil disobedience. Most of you have probably heard the recent hoopla out of Parliament Hill. During the particularly ceremony-heavy Throne Speech, a page walked out into the middle of the floor and, in full view of the cameras and stunned costumed oldsters, she produced a red octagonal …
Once again the internets were all abuzz last month about the rise of “Fox News North”. My Facebook feed was riddled with urgent cries to take action against the rise of, and I quote: “American-style hate media onto our airwaves.” This has already come ’round before, but maybe with Hockey Day in Canada and the …
“I think we should take a break.” When slapped together, those can be the most dreaded words in the English language. And so, it was with an appropriately heavy heart that I had to say this phrase to my morning coffee. Some might say I looked a fool, with tears in my eyes, cradling the …
By the time you read this, The Rapture might have just happened. It was floating around the internets recently – a fundamentalist Christian group in the States (oh, really?) declared that May 21 would be the date that God calls in all markers. Judgment Day. Armageddon. The Great Big Check-out. You know how it goes. …
I’m starting to think the doomsayers are right – perhaps the end is nigh. A chance flicking around the tube this past weekend landed me onto the mind-blowingly ridiculous NBC’s Dateline: “The Perils of Parenting”. Dateline in itself is usually good for a laugh as they regularly show a feature called: “What Would You Do?” …
The year is 1985. A young Anthony sits crossed-legged in front of the television. The flickering images flashing across his eyes barely register in his stunned mind. Leonard Maltin just gave Ghostbusters a bad review. Indeed, this is a story of great trauma from my childhood. A highly-positioned critic just pooped on what I, as …
Recently, there’s been talk in the media concerning an online petition asking the Sesame Street producers to let Ernie and Bert marry each other. Apparently a few hundred quixotic slacktivists agreed, and “signed” this online petition. Yep. You heard me. The reasoning is that having these two Muppets marry would teach kids tolerance, in a …
When it’s your turn to step up and spin the wheel of old man diseases, “gout” ain’t that bad a spot for it to land on. See, I woke up some time ago, to my foot suddenly deciding it didn’t want to be walked on. Either I was kicking footballs all night in my sleep, …
Unlike most folks, I have no problem with people trying to convert me. Maybe those intrepid door-knockers are constantly catching me when I’m in a good mood (and not just freshly out of the shower). But even at my crankiest possible, I can still be human enough to be nice to tract-laden people who knock …
I’m sitting in a DJ booth, bopping my head along to Modern English. It’s hard not to think about how easy it is to slot right back into Northern life. In most ways it feels like I never left, and other than the tragic absence of the Colonel and a lack of a Blizzard repository, …
Every spring, we all have certain things we fervently look forward to. It could be the continued sublimation of those stubborn piles of snow, the longer light in the evening sky or the exuberant sight of the croci poking out of the ground. Personally, I’m pretty happy with just staying above zero during the day …
