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Wasting Away in Geezerville

P1-2020-01-08-KenBolton-GV-ChangingDecades.jpg

Issue: 2020-01-22, PHOTO:

There’s something about the turning of one year into the next, not to mention when a decade slips quietly into another. But how could such an event compare to the morphing of both a century and a millennium from old to new? Read more

Humour

P1-2019-12-23-KenBolton-GV-IcelandicChristmas.jpg

Issue: 2019-12-23, PHOTO: David Stanley / via Wikimedia Commons

So far in the pre-winter of 2019, Geezerville has already had lashings of snow. Then a dump of snow. Then a gentle frosting to make both lashings and dump look sweet and innocuous. Read more

Humour

P1-2019-12-18-KenBolton-GV-RampingUp.jpg

Issue: 2019-12-18, PHOTO: Pixabay

Let’s face it, some folks get really ramped up about the season of festive excess that descends upon us every December. For many of them (even you, if I may be so bold), holiday prep starts months in advance. In extreme cases, as early as Boxing Day Read more

Humour

P1-2019-11-01-KenBolton-GV-MushroomSuit.jpg

Issue: 2019-11-20, PHOTO: Pixabay

Never, in any previous column, have I considered the need to provide a trigger warning. Regular visitors to Geezerville are generally mature, clear-minded and emotionally stable enough to put up with whatever nonsense I spill into this 450-word frame Read more

Humour

P1-2019-10-18-KenBolton-GV-Expertise.jpg

Issue: 2019-11-13, PHOTO: Pixabay

This morning, Kyle showed up with his bulging leather tool belt, his cordless shop vacuum, and a clutch of 16x25x1 furnace filters. It’s one of those annual rituals I’ve come to both welcome and dread. Read more

Humour

P1-2019-10-18-KenBolton-GV-Flibbergibbet.jpg

Issue: 2019-11-06, PHOTO: Pixabay

How do you solve a problem like “flibbertigibbet?” Unless you had a grandmother like mine, that’s a word you’d probably never heard before Oscar Hammerstein II used it to describe a postulant manquée named Maria... Read more

Humour

P1-2019-10-02-KenBolton-GV-CellphoneWithdrawal.jpg

Issue: 2019-10-16, PHOTO: Pixabay

I love my cellphone. Let me rephrase that. I am addicted to my cellphone. I’m enslaved by it. In its absence, I feel abandoned, disoriented, slightly less than a whole person. Read more

Humour

Whatever your language or culture, your gift to the future is to provide wonder for kids to chew on in their strollers. Read more

Literature

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Issue: 2019-09-25, PHOTO: Pixabay

Six hours after I email this column to Danny Macdonald, and long before you read it in What’s Up Yukon, these words by Cole Porter from the 1948 Broadway smash, Kiss Me, Kate, will be part of my remembered experience: Read more

Humour

P1-2019-07-24-KenBolton-GV-CoffinMaking2.jpg

Issue: 2019-08-21, PHOTO: Pixabay

I recently wrote about my new vocation as a DIY coffin maker. OK, strictly speaking it’s not a coffin. It’s a casket. On a draped bier. Read more

Humour

P1-2019-07-10-KenBolton-GV-CoffinMaking.jpg

Issue: 2019-08-14, PHOTO: Pixabay

Things sometimes turn on a dime. Recently, with only three days’ notice, my summer job as a kiddie-train engineer suddenly vanished in a puff of steam-engine smoke. I won’t dwell on the details, except to say I was disappointed. Read more

Humour

P1-2019-06-12-KenBolton-GV-SquirrelChauffeur.jpg

Issue-2019-07-10, PHOTO: Pixabay

They say the fastest land mammal of all is the cheetah, capable of running as fast as 120 km/h without breaking a sweat. But “they” are wrong. Read more

Humour

P1-2019-06-05-KenBolton-GV-BellyButtons.jpg

Issue: 2019-07-03, PHOTO: Pixabay

Opinions are like belly buttons. Everybody has one. Except Adam and Eve, reportedly. Even a casual glance at Facebook, Twitter, or similar social media platforms confirms a disturbing fact: opinions are actually far more numerous than belly buttons. Read more

Humour

P1-2019-04-17-KenBolton-GV-PsandQsAgain.jpg

Issue: 2019-06-26, PHOTO: Danny Macdonald

The last entry in this space provided a platform for a more-or-less true tale of undeserved punishment recalled (and still resented) from the mists of time. Read more

Humour

P1-2019-04-17-KenBolton-GV-PsandQs.jpg

Issue: 2019-06-05, PHOTO: Pixabay

Anyone who has ever worked in a printing shop, or who has helped teach a youngster learn how to print the alphabet, knows the importance of minding your Ps and Qs. And your Bs and Ds, for that matter... Read more

Humour

P1-2019-04-17-KenBolton-GV-CanoeTrip-C473 - Copy.jpg

Issue: 2019-05-29, PHOTO: mvipond / everystockphoto.com

I was 12 years old in 1955 when my oldest brother, Robin, went away to university. As siblings in a close-knit family, we had shared many delightful (and less-than) hours around the dinner table. But the six-year difference in our ages meant we... Read more

Humour

P1-2019-02-13-KenBolton-GV-SnowShovels.jpg

Issue: 2019-03-13, PHOTO: Pixabay

The allure of even a well-crafted, lightweight shovel begins to pale after days upon numberless days of snow upon snow upon snow. There is wisdom in the old saw that everybody likes to complain about the weather, but nobody does anything about it... Read more

Humour

P1-2019-01-17-KenBolton-GV-SeedDreams-C469.jpg

Issue: 2019-02-06, PHOTO: Pixabay

Beyond the windows of my study/greenhouse, the temperature is still in deficit mode and falling. Another skiff of snow arrived overnight—the dry, fat, fluffy kind I have no trouble ignoring. It will either blow away, or it will not. It doesn’t... Read more

Humour

P1-2018-12-19-KenBolton-GV-Panto - Copy.jpg

Issue: 2018-12-19, PHOTO: Pixabay

The time-honoured English tradition of the Christmas pantomime (known affectionately as just “panto”) was not part of my childhood. My British father did grow up attending pantos, before going on to become an usher in post-Victorian music halls... Read more

Humour

P1-2018-11-14-KenBolton-GV-WinterTires.jpg

Issue: 2018-12-05, PHOTO: Pixabay

Every now and then, a fella happens to hit the sweet spot, even if it is more by good luck than good management. I rest my case on a recent example. Early in the week, I casually mentioned to “Herself” that it was time to consider remounting the... Read more

Humour