Dear Mister Ed

Been spendin’ a lot of time in the out of doors of late. Its the ownly way a feller can get away from Eva and her non stop jabberin’ on polliticks now shes fixed on gettin’ her self into parlament.

I wud of been outside anyways like as not, bein’ as how summer seems to be comin’ on reel fast hereabouts.

Near as I can tell from watchin’ the whether channel, the Youcons runnin’ about 15 degrees behind where I’m at. Thats metrick degrees but I think it still counts.

That shud’nt otta surprize any one, the Youcon bein’ so handy Allaska and us bein’ smack up against the San Wann Islands. San Wann is a Mexxican name after all, and no kin of Clide Wann that I can tell.

Bein’ in the editer game Darroll, you must of read the odd book or two in yer time. But did you know the San Wann Islands once come within a whisker of bein’ part of Canada?

Be nice if they was. A bit of reel estate that sounds like its strait outta the Carrabeann mite of warmed up the hole of Canada a notch or two.

But it never happened becauz of somethink called the Pig War back in 1859, when some feller shot some other fellers big black pig fer eatin’ the first fellers spuds, and the US&A got the San Wann Islands.

And here I allways thot it was Missus O’Leerys cow to blame fer where the boarder got set. Or was that Laura Seacords cow?

Here we are more’n 150 years later and we still got pig wars goin’ on betwixt us and them. And that kinda leads me back to Eva.

Now Eva dont like to admit it, but theres a hole lot of stuff a member of parlament shud know that she aint boned up on too good. Stuff like free trade and farm pollicy and such.

So seein’ as theres a cupple of useta-be farmers rite under her roof, shes been pumpin’ I and Walt about whats what in the back 40.

The other day she was readin’ the paper and all on a sudden she ast me “Whats a weaner pig?”

So I says, slow and careful “thats a speshul kind of pig they use to make weaners with. They got meat thats low in fat and aint good fer bacon, but it mixes fine with sawdust and other stuff they put in hot dogs.”

Now Unkle Walts tryin’ to keep his face strait, but he dang near loses it when I keep talkin’.

“You can tell a weaner pig by the look of it” I says “long and low like a weaner dog but a curley tale and not near so yappy.”

When Eva thanks me fer the info I jest smile and say “Anythink you need to know about canners and cutters?”

Later Walt takes me aside and whispers “yer headin’ fer serryous trubble, Mister.” He may be rite.

Yer pal,

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