Seein’ how yer a big shot newspaper guy, I was kinda hopin’ you cud fill me in on Whats Up with the Youcon?

The way I hear tell, the Preemyer is havin’ a problem with his ID of late.

Seems the hole terratry is a-twitter over who is the reel Dennis Fentry, and will he please stand up.

Well, not the hole terratry. Not Willerd Felps, who dont give a tweet fer Fentry and wants him to please stand down.

In fact, Willerd and his pals is so mad at the Preemyer theys plannin’ a party to end all partys.

What I cant help wonderin’ is, aint that what you fansy word folks call an oxie-moron on – like jumbo shrimp, or the Best of Barry Maniloe – it mite make scents, but ownly if yer smart like an ox?

Mind you, its plane as Day if you look at Ottawa how havin’ all them partys jest gets in the way of what the govamint wants to do. So maybe Willerd and his pals is onto somethink.

Speakin’ of Whats Up, I seem to recall back a month or so the City of White Horse sayin’ as to how its plannin’ a new plan on how to plan its offishul plan on what you can and cant do in town.

Now theres a news flash. Seems like evry time the sun pops up, White Horse pops up with a new offishul plan.

If I unnerstand it rite, under this new plan the city mite let you put up much taller bildin’s in the down town parts of the down town part.

This cud be yer big brake, Darroll. If you play yer cards rite, you jest mite end up with a swanky new office on the seventh floor of that hi-rise log cabbin you work in.

Then you can give yer little paper a new name, Whats Wa-a-a-y Up Youcon?

But I heard a rumer the other day that City Counsell reckons it can save money by gettin’ the Bylaw folks to take charge of plannin’ that end of things, bein’ as its too cold to go chasin’ parked cars.

What they come up with so far is a skeam that says on the odd-number side of a street its OKay to have a place thats five floors or more.

Ecksept on Monday, Wensday and Friday, when it hasta be on the even-number side.

I wont sware I got the fine points ecksactly rite, but thats what I recall. Maybe you can ast one of yer crack reporters to take a look into it, so we aint passin’ along any unfoundered rumers.

Its kinda slow on the home front these days. Cant afford the Olympicks, so I haveta watch the pollitickal poles to see whose out front in the Downhill Slide.

But I come up with a new inspirashunal pome fer you, called Youcon in Febwary:

Day and nite its cold and white;

sure be nice to have more lite.

Yer pal,