Dear Mister Ed

Even at yer age Darrol, I reckon you heard the old sayin’ about be carefull what you wish, unlest you wanta live in interrestin’ times?

Well it don’t get a hole lot more interrestin’ than what happened hereabouts this week.

Y’see Bruce the gardiner has a bit of a saleboat that him and Emma-Lee likes to slip around in bytimes. So it was nothin’ outta the ornery when he took it fer a little spin the day before last.

Dang thing looked reel pretty in the mornin’ lite as I watched thru The Widdows spy glasses. Soon he was jest a speck on the water near the boarder betwixt us and US.

I figger he was off to Port Angeliss or somewheres to do a little duty-free shoppin’ like a lotta folks do from time to time.

I was headin’ down fer breckfist when all Hecter broke out.

D’you recall that movie Appocalips Now and Then, where this bunch of hellacopters comes up outta nowheres, and this feller stands on the beach sayin’ how theres nothin’ like a good sniff of naypomm to set ‘im up first thing in the ayem?

Thats how it was here, ownly not so big on the creepy musick. All on a sudden, theres two choppers comin’ in low over the north side of the house.

The one heads strait fer the crop circkle where Bruce had his tommata plants, but the other one sets down rite smack next to the tennis court.

At the exack same minnit, one of them big rubber boats pulls up to the dock and out jumps a gang of handy-lookin’ lads with guns and dogs and brush cuts.

It was like we was all part of a Miammy Vise pitcher, save fer there not bein’ any cammeras handy.

The head of the gang is all decked out in the Full Mounty, and he comes up to where we’s all stood with our jaws agog. With nary so much as a “howdy-doody Ma’m”, he hands Eva a search warren and says they want a look-see round her place.

Now The Widdow ain’t one to push around or take fer granite. “Not in them filthy boots you dont, young man” she says.

Next thing you know theres a dozzen grown men in sock feet tip-towin’ round the house whilst she shows off her best dishes and art thingys and fanssy gee-gaws from here, there and evrywheres that Eva and her late Mister picked up in there travails.

All this time theres two big dogs with there nose in evry nook and cranny like there lookin’ fer a female whos time has come.

After near an hour they suddenly let loose one hellashus rackit. A dozzen cops run into the kitchen and theres the dogs on there hind-end legs, sniffin’ and barkin’ at three filly meenyons Emma-Lee had set out to thaw.

The head cop looked fit to weep from dissapointment. But I’ll tell you more on this next time.

Yer pal,

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