Dear Mr Ed

Got yer note sayin’ you was’nt sure what my last letter was on about when I menshuned the party line fones.

If yer thinkin’ it has to do with them scanty-dressed wimmen that come on the TV late at nite and ast you to give ’em a call, you can get yer mind outta that gutter rite off.

They dont have that kinda foolishness in PEI as of yet. No self-respecktin’ Islander wud put up with some gal from two farms down prancin’ around in her skivvys, givin’ out her fone number on the boob toob.

Asides that, most folks has shut off the TV and gone to bed long before that smart alecky fast talker with the black shirt and a name like a hi-price resteraunt comes on.

So to set you strait Darroll, when you was still a twinkle if a fambly had a fone at all they had to share the line with 7 or 8 of the naybors.

Evryone had there own number. Ours was one long ring followed by two short ones.

Now if some other bodys fone rung a few times then stopped, well it was nachural to pick up and make sure they got it all rite, or jest see if the line was free again yet.

You cudn’t help but hear somethink you shud’nt bytimes, but if you run into the naybors next day you never let on you allready heard there news. And they never let on they allready heard yers.

Wheres the harm in bein’ well informed, thats what I wanta know? That way you dont ast any uncomftable qweschuns and evrybody gets on fine.

After all this time the fone company still makes a killin’ off folks sharin’ there news. The ownly diffrence is they dont talk to each a nother any more, they jest use there thumbs.

Speakin’ of whats new and what aint, you must of heard by now how all the B.C. marranwanna growers are rushin’ out to find bears they can train up to proteckt there crops?

Cant say if its true or not, but it put me in mind of Great Unkle Gilbert on my Mommas side.

Not that he grew marranwanna, mind you. Nossir, he was a law-abidin’ gent who put down the odd batch of Shine from time to time in a staneless steel cooker out back of the fox house.

Now theres no bears on the Island, but Gilbert wanted some manner of seckurity to keep the nosey parkers away from his goods. Finely he hit on the perfeckt answer.

Skunks. Theres plenty of them in PEI, and they aint all in publick life.

Jest one bottle to talk Doc Milligan into snippin’ the stink bulbs off a few orfan skunk babys and Gilbert was in bizness.

It worked fine fer about a year, till a stranger come to call. A black and white one that did’nt care much fer Gilbert first time they met.

Get my drift Darroll?

Yer pal,

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