Salad Isn’t the Only Thing Tossed

Very few people have ever heard of the “halibut toss”, which can only be described as riveting if you happen to be fortunate enough to catch a rare live performance. My friend Karen has put on a top-rung show, herself, entertaining us for an evening, although she had, at the time, substituted moose burgers for halibut fillets.

Karen was sashaying proudly across the gravel-covered yard with a large plateful of freshly prepared moose burgers when she announced, ” Hey guys!” to her guests, only a brief moment before the highly successful, unrehearsed launch of non-aerodynamic burgers.

Burgers do not float on air for very long. The guests affected the surgical removal of various-sized pieces of road-mix from the burgers, with no end of helpful advice to Karen on how to walk and carry moose burgers at the same time.

We were having a social evening the other night with my buddy Donny and his halibut, having a good laugh over the time Karen paved most of her yard with burgers. Less than five minutes later, my wife was conveying a delectable halibut fillet from the kitchen counter to the supper table when she stumbled and, like Karen, had a highly successful food launch.

Unlike Karen, my wife’s effort at the food toss was halibut, but did not reach the intended target of the floor. Its earthward spiral was interrupted by the seat of a dining room chair. We were enthralled. It went on to be quite a big night.

Before the main event, I grilled the halibut wrapped in aluminum foil with a few pats of butter, a couple of chopped garlic cloves, chopped green onions, a slice of lemon and salt and pepper. It was grilled on medium heat for five minutes per side, turning only once. If you prefer, substitute lime for the lemon.

Do not overcook. Halibut does not have much oil in it and will dry easily. Usually halibut, if cooked properly, will not fall apart when it hits the dining room chair.

On this occasion, brown basmati rice and a Caesar salad accompanied the fish. The tossing of the salad went off without a hitch.

A long time ago, probably more than 500 years ago, primitive man lived in caves. Some still do, but anyway, one fine day a small determined band of really hairy and smelly men emerged from their cave with large sticks and a rock to go hunting or to get away from their wives for a bit … kind of like hockey players.

When the men returned to the cave with their bag, they found their entrance blocked by “smart woman” who proclaimed, “No more urinating in the cave.” And, as the proverbial doghouse had not been invented yet, the only option open to the men was to sit on the ground outside the cave and lean against the carcass of a wooly mammoth.

Just before the thundering heavens opened up and a torrential rain began to fall, a bolt of lightening struck a small patch of dried grass and twigs, setting it on fire.

The men then instinctively covered the fire with a nicely seasoned roast, unwittingly inventing the BBQ and nicely seasoned roasts.

Had the men not been so primitive, they may have accompanied their meal with barbecued pear strudel with dried cherries; or possibly, baked Alaska and a nice dry white wine.

Remember to buy local produce whenever possible.

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