The humanity.

Singapore is certainly deserving of this year’s coveted “Most Unique Thing to Steal Award”.

While most mild-mannered Canadians on holiday are satisfied just to lay, sit or walk on a beach, getting sand in our swimming costume is as close to stealing a beach as most of us might come in this lifetime.

Singapore’s neighbour, Malaysia, from which the beaches are secretly being strategically relocated, is hopping mad and positively fit to be tied over this state of affairs, as you can well imagine.

What might the Malays steal back in the way of reparations?

Not everything cooked in Malaysia comes with some type of peanut sauce, the rest of the dishes have fish sauce. The saying goes, you know you have been in “S.A. Asia” too long if you find yourself liberally sprinkling your morning pancakes with fish sauce.

While satays are common in Malaysia, how about barbecued chicken wings? To make tasty barbecue wings, mix four tablespoons of soy sauce, one tablespoon of sesame oil, two tablespoons of fish sauce, 1½ tablespoons of garlic powder, ½ tablespoon of onion powder, one tablespoon of dried basil, and ground black pepper to taste, together in a glass bowl and marinate overnight.

This should be good for a dozen wings split between two people.

Lightly oil grill and cook on medium high for about eight minutes per side until cooked through and juices are running clear.

An unaccountably large amount of ground chicken has been magically appearing in my fridge recently, sparking the always-lively English language debate on, “How do you cook ground chicken?”

A few days after creating a searing hot Vietnamese chicken dish on the stove, I decided to try barbecued ground chicken burgers in culinary self-defence.

In a glass bowl with a pound of ground chicken, I mixed a few shakes of Tabasco sauce, one cup (or as much as you need) of bread crumbs, an egg, one teaspoon of Dijon mustard, half of a chopped onion, a few shakes of Worcestershire sauce, one teaspoon of ketchup, a few cloves of minced garlic and a little chopped red pepper, salt and pepper to taste.

This should make four burgers to slap on toasted buns with a slice of tomato and some lettuce, mayo, mustard or whichever toppings and sauces you prefer on your burger. It is a pretty good low-fat meal and adds a little variety to your grilling arsenal.

In other poultry-related news, an Australian restaurant owner who had been inspected due to complaints of the quality of his poultry dishes, was moved to comment, “It is easier to buy a chicken than to catch a seagull.” It must have lost something in the translation.

The Canadian Chicken Marketing Agency, backed up by the immigration people no doubt, would never allow seagulls or any migratory shore bird to be sold without the requisite blizzard of paperwork and a barrel full of tax dollars.

Remember to shop locally when you can.