Are you struggling to stick to that resolution to shed a few pounds, made a few months ago under the inducement of a glass of champagne and the promise of a new year?
Are you frustrated and bored with generic workout programs and searching for inspiration?
Do you find your motivation to exercise regularly lagging?
It seems to me you may need the new and improved D.O.G. system.
The D.O.G. system promises to get you outside and moving—even when you really don’t want to—a promise it definitely fulfills.
I started using the system in January, when I picked up one of the newer models, “The Shiloh”, from the Mae Bachur Animal Shelter.
Shiloh rolled off the manufacturing line a mere 10 months ago and is a P.U.P.P.Y. model designed for more advanced users, or those willing to increase their level of daily physical activity significantly.
Since Shiloh arrived in our house, my husband and I often find ourselves taking multi-hour walks and cross-country skis, sometimes more than one in a day.
Shiloh has dragged us up and down Haeckel Hill, through waist-deep snowdrifts behind Fish Lake, and back and forth across every trail Copper Ridge has to offer.
Our D.O.G. is programmed for interval training, so between these longer stints of activity, Shiloh ensures that we raise our heart rates for a few shorter, more intense periods, by getting us to chase her.
If we don’t jump into action quickly enough, she will find something precious to carry with her—such as a favourite red stiletto, or the book that has just reached its exciting climax.
If that still doesn’t foster a sufficient reaction, she will begin to chew and attack the treasure until we’re up and moving.
The D.O.G. system will improve more than just your cardiovascular endurance. It also has weight training and agility functions.
Upper body strength will be improved through tug-of-war and fetch functions, while users who really want to challenge themselves can take on the bath program.
For those sport enthusiasts who wish to improve their throwing ability, each D.O.G. model is specially programmed to increase distance, accuracy and speed of throws.
Softball and ultimate frisbee players will particularly benefit from these features.
The D.O.G. system also provides mental health benefits. It ensures users have a healthy work/life balance.
For example, if Shiloh deems I have spent too much time on my laptop writing a piece for What’s Up Yukon, she will simply climb on top of me and take over the typing, so that I can focus on the important job of relaxing.njkjsfgbhjsdbagasdbqoifoigbia—see what a good job she does?
Each D.O.G. model also helps users adapt their sleep patterns to a healthier and more natural rhythm.
If I am awake beyond the time Shiloh deems an acceptable bed time—something I am often guilty of as a confessed night owl—she will crawl on top of me and fall asleep, ensuring that I have been notified of the oversight.
Finally, all D.O.G. system models are compatible with humour functions. This vital functionality ensures that users will not take themselves too seriously.
After all, no one can keep a straight face watching their D.O.G. model skating around a hardwood floor on a treasured marrow bone, or burying its edible crocodile toy in its significant other’s underwear drawer.
All users will find the D.O.G. system a worthwhile and meaningful way to get into shape.
Whereas many homo sapiens come to view their more traditional workout plans with distaste (some even with loathing), the manufacturers guarantee you will simply love the D.O.G. system.
The D.O.G. system is available at the Mae Bacher Animal Shelter—they have models to suit every taste and skill level.
Get yours today!
Amber Church is a painter, writer and sports enthusiast. You can reach her at firstname.lastname@example.org.