It’s time for Spring Cleaning. But what is a guy to do, when he isn’t a pack rat and he keeps his few belongings well-organized?

Well, everybody has that one place that is overstuffed with stuff. Consider it a “pressure release valve” if you will, since our consumer society forces stuff into our lives even by osmosis. It could be the back seat of your car, or the shed, or a kitchen cupboard with Tupperware dishes and no lids and baking pans that never, ever seem to get used.

My “pressure release valve” is my desk drawer. I’ve known it needs to be cleaned out since I started having trouble closing it … 18 months ago. So, please join me while I go through the painful process of deciding what needs to go and what needs to stay:

Canadian Tire Money – I have a big wad of it, but the bigger it gets, the more time it takes for the cashier to count it all. So, the longer I keep it, the less likely I will use it. But, it’s money and you just can’t throw away money. I’ll keep it.

Staple Remover – I don’t think I’ve ever used this. Oh yes, I’ve had staples to remove, but I usually just pry them loose with my fingernails. But I’ll be trimming my fingernails sometime this summer, so I had better keep it.

Scissors – Oh yeah, these are the ones I accused my boss of borrowing, but never returning. I had better just tuck them further back in the drawer.

Multi-Tool – A miracle of engineering this. But whenever I need a pair of pliers, knife, screwdriver, toothpick, fish de-scaler, bottle opener, wire cutter, saw or spatula, I always seem to find it elsewhere. But, now that I know it’s here, maybe I’ll use it more.

Carabiner Clip – These have a million uses … and I just haven’t been able to come up with one yet. But I will. I’ll keep it.

Eraser – I never make mistakes, so why would I need an eraser? Hmmm, it does make me appear humble. I had better keep it.

Golf Tee – It belongs in my golf bag, I know. But there is something nostalgic about seeing it in my drawer … those other 10 months of the year.

Cheque Book From 2002 – I had better keep this. What if Northwestel can’t find a record of me paying my phone bill eight years ago. I can just whip out the carbon copy and show them. Ha! That would be sweet.

Contact Sheet Viewer – Back in the day, we editors would look at “contact prints” which were images directly from strips of film. This computer fad may wane and I’ll need this again. Sooo …

Bud Covers – I bought this pack of five pairs and used one on my MP3 Player right away. They still work. But I would kick myself if I wore them out and had to buy another five-pack. I had better keep it … even if it is a 25-year supply at this rate.

Book Light – I got this from North of 60 Petro. It is really neat: you push one button and it unfolds slowly and this little blue light comes on. Yeah! Like I’d ever get rid of something like that!

Non-Prescription Sunglasses – They were $150 and there is no way I am throwing them out. I can use them the next time I am in the sun and am not driving or reading a book or care if I can see more than 20 metres away.

Hmm, that’s funny. I still can’t close my desk drawer.