I believe hot sauce is the best condiment.
I believe a good hat can set the mood.
I promise to buy Sarah MacDougall’s next album.
I believe YouTube got way less cool when it started putting commercials in front of clips.
I believe perfect teeth are overrated.
I believe Charles Manson ended the ’60s.
I promise to vote.
I believe (nearly) everything one needs to know about ethics can be learned by watching the last scene of Paths of Glory.
I promise to get plenty of fresh air this summer.
I believe if you’re going to swing, you might as well swing for the fences.
I promise to read a novel by Charles Dickens.
I believe the scene where a band “rocks out” in front of an adoring crowd is the lamest of all music video tropes.
I believe Colorado and Washington have it right.
I promise not to use “u” in lieu of “you.”
I believe enthusiasm is sometimes a good substitute for wisdom.
I believe enthusiasm is sometimes not a good substitute for wisdom.
I promise not to make fun of the mentally ill.
If I drink your beer and then drink the beer I bought to replace the beer I drank in the first place, I promise to feel guilty.
I believe there is something eerie about Pringles.
I promise disc golf season is just around the corner.
I believe James Cameron’s ego has made the world more interesting.
I promise to be selective when using puns.
I believe Kurt Cobain was a great American poet.
I promise to believe.
Who says disabilities can’t be sexy?
I believe curling is an underrated spectator sport.
If you have four lighters on your bedside table and they are all out of fluid, I believe it is time to reevaluate certain aspects of your lifestyle.
I promise that all else being equal, I will root for the underdog.
I believe choosing a beer brand based on packaging is totally legitimate.
I believe in the power of a good walk.
I believe in the power of a good wok.
I promise to learn a thing or two about photography.
I believe testing your immune system periodically keeps it strong.
I believe physical books will never be fully replaced by electronic media.
I believe Pinkerton was Weezer’s best album.
I promise to sing in the shower.
I believe avoiding hypocrisy is difficult.
I promise to love more than I hate.
Even though they are out of circulation, I believe pennies will always be worth approximately one cent.
I promise to wake up grateful at least two days a week.
I believe this is not the end.
Peter Jickling is a Whitehorse playwright and the assistant editor of What’s Up Yukon