“I think we should take a break.”

When slapped together, those can be the most dreaded words in the English language.

And so, it was with an appropriately heavy heart that I had to say this phrase to my morning coffee. Some might say I looked a fool, with tears in my eyes, cradling the aromatic sack of half-empty locally roasted beans.

Breakfast Blend, I hardly knew ye.

Yep, I’m making the conscious decision to avoid coffee. For a little while anyway.

This might smell like a beginning of a new year health-kick, but this has been in the works for some time. You might say I’ve just been avoiding the hammer coming down.

I love coffee. I love the taste, the smell, and all the mnemonic joy you get from holding a warm mug in your hands.

On a side note, I think I’d make a killer Folgers’s commercial extra. Not that I like their coffee, but I know I could emote the crap outta “the best part of waking up”.

My decision to go on a java hiatus came from a few sources.

First, a scientific study I read recently, (and conversely to what some people might say, you can believe everything you read on the internet), that detailed how people are addicted to caffeine. Like you, me, and all of YTG.

When we have our regular coffee intake, we actually aren’t experiencing any jolts of alertness and wakefulness, but rather just getting rid of our withdrawal symptoms.

Boo-urns.

Second, I noticed that my coffee habits had slid into slummy territory.

A good portion of Yukoners spend their workdays in an office. Inevitably, somewhere down the hall, surrounded by notices of potlucks and warnings to not steal stuff that isn’t yours from the fridge, there’s a refuge that holds the good ‘ole coffee maker.

And as some of us know, there’s just something about office coffee that is, for lack of a better term, “swill-like”.

At my office, I had myself convinced that if I could get to the machine fast enough, to get that freshest of the fresh first cup, I could suck it down with a decent amount of enjoyment.

But every cup after that shattered the illusion.

I was trying to assuage my java jive with the back-alley version of coffee.

A part of being a good caffeine addict is to indeed be a coffee snob.

Why don’t we all agree that shuddering and grimacing after every sip isn’t a sign of enjoying a cup of coffee. Try adding the sound of a grinder to your morning office routine instead of cracking open a giant tin can – you’ll thank me. And you can one-up other departments by showing them how hip your coffee pool is!

See, just because I’m taking a breather from black gold, doesn’t mean I’m going to rally against the stuff. Down the road, once I feel I’ve given this health-kick the boot, I’m planning a glorious return to my morning joy.

And the last reason for this trial separation is that I just think, every once in a while, it’s a good idea for me to indulge in some healthier altered states.

Another pot of Jasmine Green Tea, anyone?