AFFABLE SERVICE DESK GUY: Good morning, sir. How can I help you today?

CUSTOMER: Well … I just got here last week, so I figured I better winterize my car.

ASDG: Did you just come from Outside?

CUSTOMER: No, I slept on your floor overnight … of course I just came from outside.

ASDG: No sir, I meant from outside the Yukon. You know, Outside.

CUSTOMER: Oh, oh, I see, Outside. Yes, I just came in from Edmonton.

ASDG: Welcome to the “real” home of the Klondike, sir.

CUSTOMER: Pardon me?

ASDG: Never mind. I suppose you want an oil change? Something lighter that won’t freeze up so easy?

CUSTOMER: Yeah, please. And check the coolant, too.

ASDG: Do have a block heater?

CUSTOMER: No, I suppose I’ll need one of those. Anything else you can think of?

ASDG: How about a battery blanket?

CUSTOMER: Sure.

ASDG: Oil pan heater?

CUSTOMER: Okay.

ASDG: Internal car warmer?

CUSTOMER: Hey, how much is all this going to cost?

ASDG: You only have to do it once, sir. Is that a rear-wheel drive car? We have some sand bags we could put in the trunk for you. You get better traction that way … only five bucks each.

CUSTOMER: Okay, okay. But don’t try to sell me any tires. I got all-season radials all around. We have snow in Edmonton too, you know.

ASDG: You’re allowed to have studded tires here. You might want to consider it. You’ll get a few more seasons out of those radials and save money further on.

CUSTOMER: Well, all right, if it’s going to save me money. Here are the keys, if you just want to write down the licence plate number I’ll give it to you.

ASDG: No that’s all right, sir. It’s parked along the side, right?

CUSTOMER: Yeah, but I haven’t even told you what year and make it is, or even the colour.

ASDG: That’s all right, we’ll know which one. You can pick it up this afternoon.

CUSTOMER: Okay, see you then.

ASDG: Hey, kid!

BACK SHOP GUY: Yeah?

ASDG: Here are some keys. It’s the clean car parked along the side. Give it “The Usual”.

BSG: Right.

ASDG: And, hey kid…

BSG: Yeah, yeah, I know. Don’t forget to crack the windshield for him.

ASDG: Before noon, too. He’s from Outside, you know.


Editor’s note: This has been my attempt at humour. From now on, I want to see your jokes in this space. The best one each issue will earn a free pair of beer mugs, courtesy of Yukon Brewing Company. Keep them short, keep them clean and keep them coming.