Perpetually single and constantly moving all over the world, settling into a new place can be tough. How do you meet people? How do you get into a good clique? How do you meet a decent or even “normal” person who you don’t want to throw out a window after a couple of dates?
I’ve used Tinder all over the world. I find in non-English speaking countries, it’s the best way to meet like-minded people keen to go out and explore the place you live – and maybe even more. For those who haven’t used the app, you log in and are presented with photos of other users within your range. You swipe left to decline meeting, or you swipe right to indicate you’re interested. If both users swipe right for a mutual attraction, the app gives you a notification of the match and allows you to chat back and forth.
Other times it can be a non-stop issue of super creepy guys only interested in taking your knickers off even before you’ve met them.
But each to their own.
I guess there are some people out there who are into sending nude selfies to complete strangers. I know I have certainly never requested a dick selfie, yet, it seems a male imperative to send me one. Is it just me or is a picture of a penis not that appealing? Give me a good old-fashioned, moderately chiselled torso any day.
So how does Tinder compare in Canada, and in Whitehorse? When I first moved to Canada, I was pleasantly surprised. Literally every single profile was a guy with a dog/truck/sled/snowboard/beard and all the pictures were set outdoors. Did I come to Tinder heaven? Not only were these guys single and available, but also age-appropriate.
The tough part of being in your early thirties but still acting like you’re in your early twenties is the change in demographics for what is “appropriate” for you. Here’s my generalised age review (from experience):
Early twenties – single, usually party way too much, would rather go out drinking than outdoor exploring, not ready for commitment, no baggage (often live at home and feels somewhat creepy that you were born in different decades).
Late twenties/early thirties – most likely been in a serious relationship maybe even marriage, has a dog, a house, 50/50 has kids.
Late thirties/early forties – mostly looking to be serious, set in their ways, if they don’t already have kids, then they want kids.
So being in my early thirties with no baggage and no desire to have children, where do I fit in?
When I’m on Tinder, I do the swiping dance. I note that every time I swipe right I get a match. A sign of which gender has the power to meet on Tinder? Or simply guys just swipe right to everyone; certainly the more likely reason.
When I moved to Whitehorse I found there is certainly a mixed bag, that summer has a more transient population than long-term possibilities. The thing I find with Tinder up here is no one really wants to be your mate (Ed note: Aussie for friend.). Which is unfortunate because the best relationships stem from friendship.
I’ve noted that the pool is vast and diverse, but you always have to remember that Whitehorse is a relatively small town. Being a female we often need to be more cautious with our promiscuity and sexuality than men as the association for us isn’t as “cool” or accepted as it is for them.
So I endeavour on, but I’ve mostly moved away from Tinder because I find up here reality is the only way to gauge whether you can be attracted to someone. So what other avenues are there? Facebook events and groups are useful ways to meet people. Or good old fashioned meeting someone through mutual friends.
The introduction of Tinder certainly changed the game, though. I remember when you used to have to walk up to someone in a bar and start talking with them to see if they were single and interested. Now I have a never-ending stream of people I can view at my leisure and judge based on one to six photos they provide.
Whether you’re looking for marriage, relationship, a sex buddy or anything in between, it’s always a constant dance.