Phase 4 – “Yes, but it’s your fault.” (Justification)
The aggressor tries to avoid responsibility and argues, “Yes, but it’s your fault.” This process is the same in all couples, regardless of gender and orientation. This phase is an attempt to nullify unhappy acts and to convince the victim that they are dramatizing, that they are crazy, that it’s their fault and that they should not have provoked the aggressor’s rage. As a result, the victim is led to believe that the violence will end when they modify their own behaviour. And the cycle begins again, ad nauseam!These are the four phases of the cycle of violence: accumulation, explosion, a lot of justification and, finally, a honeymoon. Unfortunately, this is an unending cycle unless the victim (or victims) try to protect themselves by asking for help to find a way out of this life-poisoning whirlwind.
My next article will define and categorize violence. These notions are beneficial throughout your life if ever you find yourself confronted, near or far, by violence. A list of useful resources available in the Yukon is included here.
Resources in the Yukon
The first pages of your Yukon and Northern British Columbia phone book.
“Surviving in Yukon” www.aadnc-aandc.gc.ca/eng/1376430065491/1376430123044#healthcare
Communities: first 3 numbers and 5555
Help and Victim Services
Yukon and Northern B.C.:
24/7 shelters (collect calls)
Ross River 969-2722
Watson Lake 536-7233
Whitehorse 668-5733 / 633-7699 / 667-2693
Whitehorse Les EssentiElles 668-2636
Residential school survivors:
Yukon Distress & Support Line:
Child support and protection
Beaver Creek and Burwash Landing 634-2203
Destruction Bay and Haines Junction 634-2203
Old Crow 993-7890
Ross River 969-3200
Watson Lake 536-2232