Phase 4 – “Yes, but it’s your fault.” (Justification)

The aggressor tries to avoid responsibility and argues, “Yes, but it’s your fault.” This process is the same in all couples, regardless of gender and orientation. This phase is an attempt to nullify unhappy acts and to convince the victim that they are dramatizing, that they are crazy, that it’s their fault and that they should not have provoked the aggressor’s rage. As a result, the victim is led to believe that the violence will end when they modify their own behaviour. And the cycle begins again, ad nauseam!These are the four phases of the cycle of violence: accumulation, explosion, a lot of justification and, finally, a honeymoon. Unfortunately, this is an unending cycle unless the victim (or victims) try to protect themselves by asking for help to find a way out of this life-poisoning whirlwind.

My next article will define and categorize violence. These notions are beneficial throughout your life if ever you find yourself confronted, near or far, by violence. A list of useful resources available in the Yukon is included here.

Resources in the Yukon

The first pages of your Yukon and Northern British Columbia phone book.

The website:

“Surviving in Yukon”


Whitehorse: 911

Communities: first 3 numbers and 5555

Help and Victim Services

Yukon and Northern B.C.:


24/7 shelters (collect calls)

Carmacks 863-5918

Dawson 993-5086

Ross River 969-2722

Watson Lake 536-7233

Whitehorse 668-5733 / 633-7699 / 667-2693

Whitehorse Les EssentiElles 668-2636

Elder abuse:

1-800-661-0408 x3946

Residential school survivors:

867-667-2247 (collect)

Yukon Distress & Support Line:


Child support and protection

Atlin 651-7511

Beaver Creek and Burwash Landing 634-2203

Carcross 821-2920

Carmacks 863-5800

Dawson 993-7890

Destruction Bay and Haines Junction 634-2203

Faro 994-2749

Mayo 996-2283

Old Crow 993-7890

Pelly 863-5800

Ross River 969-3200

Teslin 390-2588

Watson Lake 536-2232

Whitehorse 821-2920