The only personality test that works

There are people out there who think they know everything they need to know about me just


  1. I’m a Scorpio.
  2. I’m a white male in his 40s.
  3. I drive an Explorer.

Nobody likes to be pigeon holed … especially with seemingly arbitrary classification systems like these. At the very least take into account my rising sign and position of the moon and other planets. If you really want to get to know somebody quickly, without actually engaging in too much conversation, you should try the following fool-proof method that I have come up with.  It is more complete than just a sun sign; it is less racially sensitive as my age and ethnicity (or lack thereof); and it isn’t skewed by the fact I bought an Explorer just because my kids were too uncomfortable in my little red Ranger pickup truck. I call this personality test:


Our favourite Beatle tells others volumes about our personalities. And it is universal among

people over 30 because most of us have a favourite Beatle. People under 30 seem to take delight in claiming they don’t know who the Beatles are just to make the rest of us feel old, so you may want to keep that in mind. There are dynamics at work, too. George Harrison was the quiet one, but that quality turned out to be a spiritual approach to life. John Lennon was socially minded, but who could have imagined how much good he would go on to accomplish … and inspire?

So, here are the personality profiles of those who choose the following as their favourite Beatle:

  • George Harrison You approach life with intelligence and heart. You may not believe in a god, but you are still spiritual. You have a wonderful sense of quiet and that, more than anything else, makes you the ideal leader. You have an appreciation for subtleties and dislike spoon-fed ideologies.
  • Ringo Starr You were the class clown and you see no reason to stop now. There is a lot going on behind your glib expression, but a glib expression seems the ideal answer to anything thrown at you. You delight in surprising friends with the depth of your thought and you surprise yourself with how seldom you need to think.
  • John Lennon You have a passion for all things organic in all definitions of the word. You believe sincerity is the only currency you need and you are often disappointed when you discover that isn’t true. You think outside of the box and cannot understand why few others do as well. You are a member of the mainstream and you don’t know it.
  • Paul McCartney You think you are in the mainstream, but you are not. You know what you like and you like it a lot. You don’t want to make too much of an effort to entertain yourself and you do not demand more from those who want your allegiance.

There it is. Simple. But it needs to be proved, so I sent an email to my columnists — my control group — and found out who their favourite Beatles are.

  • Chris Wheeler, Wheeler’s Walkabout “George, I loved the sincerity of While My Guitar Gently Weeps.”
  • The Beer Buzz Crew — “Ringo, his nose worked so well with his hair.”
  • Nicole Bauberger, From the Arts — “John, but I don’t like any particular Beatle.”
  • Justin Lemphers, Yukon Wild Gamer — “Ringo, his name has rhythm.”
  • Vanessa Willett, Yukon Rainbow —“George, seemed to be a thinker and much more spiritual than others.”
  • George Maratos, Play Makers — “John, for his easy-going, not-to-be-sold-out demeanour.”
  • Rod Jacob, Reel Yukon — “John, he’s more popular than Christ.”
  • James Cackette, Yukon Night Lights — “George, he was a great guitar player, great writer, great singer.”
  • Jude Wong, Stage in Motion — “John, I like his look and the feel of his songs and the things his lyrics talk about.”
  • David Gillmor, Audio Borealis — “John, for his knack for malapropisms and dry, pointed humour.”
  • Chris McNutt, Attention Span — “John, even though I’ve always hated Yoko.”

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