Has my gast ever been flabbered!

Trolling through Randy Quaid’s IMDB (Internet Movie Database) listing, I was shocked to discover that someone already had the incredible foresight to green light “Christmas Vacation 2.”

And I had had high hopes we were going to make that sequel here in Canada.

For those of you who have been living under a rock, Dennis’ slightly less famous brother Randy recently arrived in Vancouver, claiming refugee status.

Quaid and his wife skipped into Canada, following their latest arrest in California for squatting in their old residence. A bad move for sure, but an even stranger one followed as they landed in Vancouver claiming to be on the run from a shadowy group of Hollywood assassins.

No matter where on the alphabet your star status lands, claiming to be running from a conspiracy of “star-whackers” is going to make you look a little cuckoo.

And while I’m a big fan of Quaid’s work on the B movie circuit, (Freaked being a particular favourite of mine), I can only cringe a little when he puts himself in the same line-up as Heath Ledger.

But I give Randy Quaid my full support for having the chutzpah to actually claim refugee status from the States. I guess I haven’t been to Skagway in a while, but I didn’t realize things were that bad down there.

And I hear that KFC just rolled out the “Double-down”, so I hope someone lets Mr. Quaid know that we now have that artery clogger in Canada too.

Being a fan of kooks, I’d like to welcome the Quaids with open arms. Ultimately, I think he would make not only a welcome addition to our country, but to this territory.

Indeed, I think Randy Quaid would be the perfect Yukoner. He takes wacky to some extreme levels, wears flannel like a natural and already comes equipped with a scruffy Northern-style beard.

This territory has a grand history of people coming here to escape their troubles. In ’97 I bolted here from Ottawa, running away from the complete tragedy of getting dumped. The Yukon was the perfect reset button, a way to get in touch with myself on a more profound level.

And being 5,000 clicks away from my troubles didn’t hurt.

Let’s not forget that Quaid would come to the Yukon pre-equipped to adapt here. He has a long history of playing strange recluses, sketchy mountain men, and drunkles – how could he not fit in?

He’d give all us reformed Ontarians a darned good run for our money, sez I. (And without a roof racked Subaru I’d bet.)

Just imagine what a level of commitment we could get out of everyone during Rendezvous if Cousin Eddie was the Master of Ceremonies. He looks like a dude who could really chuck a chainsaw is all I’m sayin’.

This is really an untapped resource we’re looking at.

“Yukon: Home of the Celebrity Recluses!”

PS – Department of Tourism, you can have that slogan for free. You’ll probably need the money to bankroll “Christmas Vacation 3”.

PPS – Whatever happens, if anything, let’s at least trade Randy Quaid for Justin Bieber.

Anthony Trombetta, a stand-up comic and anti-culture vulture, is the co-producer of the monthly Comedy Night at The Guild. Cheers and/or jeers may be sent to: [email protected]