It can go in reverse.

I don’t need insurance.

It has a rear view camera.

It has headlights.

It has air conditioning.

It has a heater.

It has a sound system.

It has hand warmers.

I can drive it in the car wash.

It has windshield wipers.

It starts with a key.

I can take it to the drive thru.

It has a seatbelt.

It has a speedometer.

It has a steering wheel.

It has brakes.

It has a horn.

I don’t need a mechanic.

I won’t get parking tickets.

You won’t get charged with impaired.

I don’t need a driver’s licence.

It starts in cold weather.

I may get a speeding ticket.

It will never go missing.