In previous weeks, this unattached Yukon man described his initial experiences in online dating, provided some observations on improving online dating profiles, and discussed how he grouped the Yukon women’s profiles he came up with. Now, on to contacting complete strangers!
The first on my list was a woman who had included no photo but provided a lengthy, detailed, useful narrative. Woman 1’s age was close to mine and she had many of the same interests. Furthermore, she described some of her life philosophy, which coincided with mine.
I composed a thoughtful and witty note to her, observing specifically how some of the things in her profile apparently matched mine.
Several days went by with no response from Woman 1.
Okay, on to Woman 2.
Her profile had a photograph, and while her narrative was not as long, it still gave me a good aperçu of a fascinating person that I would like to meet. I tailored a message to her and sent it off.
So I sent off messages to the others at the top of my list.
At this point, I was still learning all the features of the online dating site. There was a way I could see who had viewed my profile. Neither Woman 1 nor 2 had even looked at mine. Then, I discovered a way to see roughly when anyone had last logged onto the dating site. It had been more than a month for both Woman 1 and 2. In fact, of the 52 on my list, only 18 had been on in the last month. What did that mean?
I had heard stories of dating sites making up bogus profiles or retaining old profiles impress paying customers with the vast selection. But this was a free site. Maybe all the other women including 1 and 2 had already found love and were off enjoying Yukon’s outdoors, evenings at the Arts Centre, wining and dining, and some cuddling, of course, with the men of their dreams. Or perhaps they had given up and cancelled their email addresses.
Two women near the top of my list eventually replied saying they were very busy sifting through the unexpected barrage of requests for contact from other men they had met online; well, at least that sounded promising for them. And one woman in the middle of the list wrote to say she liked my profile; however, it turned out we had very little in common.
So, based on my experience so far, here are some suggestions for women interacting with men on online dating sites:
If a man sends you a message, check out his profile and then send him a polite reply within several days if only to say you don’t think it would work. Don’t cruelly ignore his message. If he is sincere, it was probably difficult for him to write to you.
Don’t be too picky or judgemental. That doesn’t mean you should lower your standards. But the pool in Whitehorse is small, and an online profile doesn’t tell the whole story. Going for coffee with someone new might be instructive, if only to confirm that no, that’s not what you want. Who knows, you might strike gold.
If you’re no longer looking, take your online profile out of action.
Don’t be afraid of taking the initiative. After all, this is the 21st century. If you see a man’s profile you like, send the man a cheerful message and see what happens. I know that would impress me.
My single women friends report that finding a good man in Whitehorse is difficult and I can understand that; most of the men I know are attached. I’m finding it difficult to locate interesting women in Whitehorse. They’re certainly not congregating on my dating site.
Are the odds really good?
Not in my experience, although this is still a work in progress. The dating site keeps sending me emails trumpeting, “Here are your matches!”
Clicking on the link gives the message, “Sorry, not enough local matches!”
And are the goods really odd? I don’t think so, but I haven’t collected sufficient data for a valid conclusion. There has to be a better way.
If you (men or women) have any personal Yukon-specific observations about online dating or comments about this article, please share them with me, maybe for a future article. Yes, I will discreetly protect your identity.
Oh yes — did I mention that I like cuddling?