I had my first pen pal before I could properly write a whole sentence.
My family and I were moving thousands of miles away from the only home I had known, up until then, and I had just made my first friend in kindergarten. It was the early nineties and email was mostly used by businessmen in fancy offices, while Facebook and WhatsApp were still years away from being launched. My dad had the idea that I could stay in touch with my friend via the postal service.
Those initial “letters” were mostly drawings with a few scribbled sentences that I probably wrote with the help of my mom. Over the years, they changed into more-elaborate correspondence and were joined by Christmas cards, thank-you notes and birthday wishes to other friends and family far away. Sometimes I had no idea what to write, but somehow the blank page would get filled.
I remember the joy it gave me to pick out stationery or to decorate those childhood letters with stickers and colourful pictures. I’m still in touch with that first friend, but in recent years, the letters have become fewer and farther between. Gradually, they were replaced by hastily recorded WhatsApp voice messages, a few quick pictures, the occasional longer text and, if we were feeling very ambitious, the odd postcard from a vacation or a birthday package, perhaps.
Technology has definitely made our way of communicating faster and more convenient, but it feels like maybe something has been lost along the way. There’s a certain intimacy to a letter—both in the writing and the receiving—that just can’t really be replicated in the digital realm.
In his poem To Sir Henry Wotten, the English poet John Donne wrote this: “Sir, more than kisses, letters mingle souls.” Anyone who’s ever gotten a love letter knows that to be true. In a world where everything is instantaneous, there’s something marvelous about a little bit of delayed gratification, every now and then, and knowing that someone took a bit of extra time and energy to put their thoughts on a page for you.
Writing a letter is an exceptional and pure way of sharing deep feelings of passion and devotion, but beyond that it has so many other applications and benefits.
It may seem old-fashioned and a rather inefficient way of staying in touch these days, but here are a few reasons you may want to reconsider:
- Sitting down to write a letter forces you to slow down, especially if you’re writing it by hand. Putting thoughts to a page can get you to reflect on your life and make you pay closer attention to it. It lets you explore your feelings and organize your thoughts in a way that we don’t usually do or have the time for anymore.
- Corresponding regularly with someone from a different part of the world, via long-form messages, can open up your eyes to different cultures and ways of living. A long-distance pen pal is a great way to practise a new language and to improve your vocabulary and spelling.
- Some letters are like journal entries that you’ve chosen to share with someone and may actually be written more for yourself than for the person receiving them. Writing, whether in a journal or in a letter, can be powerfully therapeutic. It can help you work through problems, relieve tension, process emotions and even heal from painful and traumatic experiences.
- A letter shows that you care. It takes time, energy, a little bit more care and a little more effort than just sending a few random emoticons via text message. The back and forth of sending and receiving letters creates a web of connection in a disconnected world.
- Having a pen pal as a child is an awesome way to improve writing and literacy skills, especially if it’s done by hand. A team of Norwegian researchers found that writing by hand results in much greater brain connectivity and promotes learning. Encourage your kids to start exchanging letters with a distant cousin or with a friend they made on vacation. Their English teachers will thank you.
- According to Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, “Letters are among the most significant memorials a person can leave behind them.” They’re something you can hold on to, look back on, and they can help you remember a moment in time that would have otherwise been forgotten.
- Letter writing can inspire creativity and can help you find your own voice. The act of discovering your own way of expressing what you want to say can help you tap into your imagination and channel your inner muse.
