Northern Romance, June 5, 2014

Dear Juniper and Johnny,

Three months ago I decided to swear off casual sex because I am looking for something more than just a fling. The first month was tough, but I powered through and now I am feeling pretty good about it. The problem is I am really lost on how I can actually meet a decent guy that doesn’t just want to be a friend with benefits. Any help on this matter would be much appreciated!

– Horny in Hillcrest

Juniper says: Congratulations, you have taken the first step in finding something meaningful by breaking your cycle. Getting out of the casual-sex-cycle is a tough one. It’s a rush to meet someone new, try him or her out, and then move on to the next person. I compare the stage you were stuck in to laying down $20 on the blackjack table at Diamond Tooth Gertie’s — you’re high on excitement and potential; but saving your hard-earned cash is more fulfilling in the long run.

Johnny says:  There’s no faster way to get to know a guy than through his pants. Although casual sex may be disheartening and empty, and leave you as a hollow shell of your former self, remember that gamblers often leave Diamond Tooth Gertie’s with a pocket full of cash. If you play your cards right, you will find magic chemistry with someone, which leads to a long-term relationship.

Dear Juniper and Johnny,

My girlfriend of about six months has recently introduced some ‘interesting’ suggestions to spice-up our love life. First of all, we are still pretty new so I am not sure why we have to add more excitement. Secondly, the dogsled harness she’s had me wear chafes awful badly. I really love her, but I don’t think I am ready for this. What should I do?

– Nearly Bound & Gagged in Granger

Juniper says: Unforeseen fetishes that arise in a relationship can add heightened pleasure, or, as you have discovered, uncertainty. If I were you, I would have an open and honest discussion about this. Will she want to add swing dogs to the team? Find out what she needs, and create some boundaries that will be comfortable and satisfying for you. Otherwise, I suggest getting one of those felt-lined harnesses. Much easier on the skin.

Johnny says: When I was a child, when a strange vegetable appeared on my dinner plate, my mom would say, “Try it, you might like it.” If her freaky fetish doesn’t crack your whip, it may be worth tolerating for her pleasure. Fun in the bedroom should be give-and-take, so it would only be fair for her accommodate you in some other way. 

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