Q: What should I do if I don’t have a date on Valentine’s Day?
–Dateless on Donjek
Charlie Says: Count your blessings Dateless. Valentine’s Day can be an expensive Hallmark holiday full of pressures, expectations and annoying restaurant line-ups.
With the time you would have otherwise spent aggravating your hay fever at a flower shop, go hang out at the local pub. There are bound to be other vulnerable singles looking for some Valentine’s validation and a chance to trot out their new Victoria’s Secret V-string.
A few tequila shots are a cheaper investment than dinner for two — and likely to generate a far better return.
If scavenging isn’t your thing, or the vortex of circling vultures with a similar agenda is killing your odds, why not send an exploratory text to the available women in your address book and hope for a Hail Mary offer you can’t refuse?
If nothing else, just enjoy your evening of freedom. Next Valentine’s Day might find you in a noisy restaurant, waiting an hour for your hot mess of wings, enduring the cold shoulder for your (apparently) minimal romantic effort and remembering a fortune cookie you once read, saying: “Becareful what you wish for.”
Juniper Says: It’s February — festival Month. Or what we prefer to call it: “February Fling.”
Instead of getting hung up on one day, what you should really be thinking about is what an awesome month it is. There are many exciting events to look forward to like the Frostbite Music Festival, Yukon Sourdough Rendezvous and various hockey tournaments.
I am going to let you in on a little secret: there are a lot of lonely people out there that didn’t get swept up by the so-called September Scramble.
So what I would advise all you women to do is throw on a corset, peel on the fish nets, stick a feather in your hair, leave your high expectations at home and head off to partake in all that February has to offer — because really — you’re not going to meet anyone hanging out at home.
A positive attitude and being able to determine what those eligible bachelors look like under their shaggy beards are the only other tools you’ll need. With a bit of effort you will be sure to pick yourself up a Sourdough Sam, a Snow Bird pilot (or someone pretending to be one) or even an entire Indie band.
From February flings to September scrambles, Juniper Frost and Charlie Sprucetip provide answers to your Northern dating challenges. Send your questions to: firstname.lastname@example.org or follow them @NorthernRomance on Twitter.