Time for conscious aging
I first saw the two-day course called “Conscious Aging” among the offerings from Yukon University, about five years ago. That sounds really interesting, I thought. But, then I asked myself, Aren’t I already aging consciously? Am I not doing a decent job of tracking my physical changes and noticing my attitudes regarding retirement, my adjustments to a changed social scene and my emotional responses to bigger birthdays?
Then I ignored the ads during COVID, because the idea of doing courses via Zoom does not appeal to me. Finally, the first in-person class since the pandemic was offered, this spring, and I signed up.
Larry Gray, a long-time science instructor at Yukon University, has been involved in the Conscious Aging, a.k.a. Sage-ing and Conscious Eldering (the idea of getting wiser as we age), movement for over a decade. He’s seen that what started with a book or two and a workshop or two has grown into a library’s worth of excellent resources, and a calendar full of international retreats and conferences. There is a broader outlook on aging in western cultures as a result. Much inspiration comes from cultures, such as First Nations, that recognize the value and importance of Elders.
The room where we met had a circle of chairs for our continual discussions, and a long table for handouts and lunch. In the center of the long table was a circle of beautiful stones surrounding a candle—a peaceful and grounding focal point.
We went around the circle and introduced ourselves, with the invitation to mention any hopes and fears about aging. This was an opportunity to share the kinds of things I mentioned above in the first paragraph: the aches and pains, the dwindling social network, the opportunities afforded by retirement.
Then the bigger questions were posed.
What is your life’s thread (the big idea or love or belief that has carried you through life’s highs and lows)? What messages or role models affected the way you see the idea of “getting old”? (This question had me remembering my very stern and unhappy grandfather on one side and my country-club grandparents on the other—neither offering me a sense of my own future.) Where are you in the process of forgiving others and asking for forgiveness? Do you have hope for, and trust in, the future? (This was a heavy one, as you can imagine.) Looking at big events and influences in your life, do you see patterns? (In my own life, I saw how important education and creative work were to my joy in living.)
Like the candle in the center of the circle of stones on the table, the stories and ideas that everyone in the group shared became the light that glowed on our faces. We laughed and commiserated and felt richer for having dug into these topics together.
Larry had lots of great quotes and slides and poems that broadened and contextualized our images of aging. One of my favorites was an image of a stream. On the left bank was the word Rigidity. There I could see seniors, like my stern grandfather, who are set in their ways. On the right bank was the word Chaos, where I imagined someone who loses things, forgets things and has trouble making decisions. Rippling calmly between these two banks was a river with the words Flow, Flexibility, Loving-kindness, Openness, Sense of wonder, Curiosity, and Compassion. And based on some of our discussions, I’d add Connection to Earth and Resilience to that river. That’s where I want to swim.
My favourite quote was from a Buddhist teacher, Robert Thurman: “Don’t ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive, and go do that, because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”
I think I can safely say that all of us workshop participants felt more alive at the end of the two days: more curious about our own processes, more awed by the range and depth of human experiences within our small group. Conscious aging is more rewarding and, indeed, more fun than any of us might have imagined. To learn more, keep an eye on the Yukon University offerings through the Northern Institute of Social Justice, or google terms such as conscious aging, age-ing and sage-ing, and Conscious Eldering.
