Dear Mister Ed

You ast why the feller I met on the Stewart and Cassyar calls that skirt of his a Futility kilt.

Seems it goes back to a time he was workin’ in the garden and put his foot where it had’nt otta be.

Way he tells it is, “when yer in a kilt and you meet a bunch of wasps hankerin’ to taste yer tender bits, resisstants is futile.”

Think I’ll take his word on that and stick to wearin’ overhauls.

Well I finely got my nerves back in place. Oh my stars and garters, west coast coffee!!

Seems coffee is to these parts what potattas is to PEI. You have’nt but to turn around and theres someplace peddlin’ java fer about 84 bucks a cup.

I figger, when in Vicktoria do like the old Qween wud do. So I order one.

Now I ain’t about to admit I don’t speak the langwidge, and next I know I’m starin’ at a three-shot granday frappacheeno lattay express with foam on top like a cheap beer.

I do ‘er all up with the free vanilla and cinnamon and stuff, and it goes down smooth like hot chocklate with marshmellow. So I have a nother one.

Next I know I’m on a bench watchin’ sea gulls. Fer 27 hours without a blink of sleep. Woe, Nelly, you won’t catch me doin’ that again. I’m back to the Ovalteen fer good.

Anyways now I’ve had some shuteye I reckon I cud get used of this place. Kinda puts me in mind of Charlottetown, with a harbbor full of boats fer the fanssy set and torrists thick as flees on a stray dogs rump.

It’s a hole lot bigger mind you, and they don’t roll up the sidewalks near so early. In fact come dark the Vicktorians get all lit up, if you know what I mean.

Theres a big old guvamint place downtown with a reel thing about seccurity. Its all strung in lites like its Crissmass all year long.

And I must of landed in the midst of a bysickle convenshun, ‘coz theres more rigs with two wheels than four.

The town has more flours than a Mafia funeral, and restoraunts a feller can get grub from all over the world without even steppin’ inside.

And folks runnin’ evrywheres with that look in there eyes of bein’ two steps ahead of the devil. That part put me in mind of the Youcon fer sure.

One place that cot my eye rite off was this swanky old hotel called the Emporess. Its kinda nice they named it fer the top lady of Jappan who was here a few weeks back with her hubby.

I went in fer a cup of tea, but they was none too keen to serve me. Mite of been my gumboots. Or maybe I was jest too young.

With all that blue hair I soon come to reelize findin’ Unkle Walt wont be all that easy. But I’ll keep on it.

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