Remember This Before You Wrestle a Pig

If you think pig wrestling is difficult, you have probably never tried cheese rolling. Last year, 19 SPECTATORS were injured at the Cooper’s Hill cheese rolling contest, apparently injured due to overcrowding.

This gripping event has held visitors to Gloucestershire, England spellbound since 1826, and consists of a gaggle of earnest competitors that pursue rolling Double Gloucester cheese wheels down a steep hill.

The annual event has grown in size over the years to draw more than 15,000 people and had to be cancelled in 2010, as the demands of the cheese-rolling fanatics outstripped the capacity of the surrounding area to adequately support them.

Every year, dozens of fans and participants are treated for cheese-wheel-rolling-related sprains, cuts and bruises. And I thought hockey was tough.

Conventional barbecue wisdom suggests that the only cheeses fit for the grill are Kasseri and Kefalotyr, both Greek and Halloumi, Cypriot, all three made from sheeps’ milk. Others will melt when grilled in “tranches” on foil or simply fall through or stick to the grill.

Oh yeah, the pig. “Before you wrestle a pig remember two things, the pig likes it and you get dirty.”

Once you have caught and prepared the pig, pork tenderloin chops are very tasty but not when cooked until dried out. For tasty barbecued tenderloin chops make a marinade of ¼ cup chunky hot salsa, two tablespoons of water, two tablespoons of orange marmalade, ¼ teaspoon of salt and marinade four chops in a bowl or plastic bag in the fridge for an hour.

Barbecue the chops medium to medium high, basting with excess marinade, and again careful not to dry them out. If you are in a hurry, forgo the marinade and lightly brush the chop with extra virgin olive oil, season with salt and pepper or steak spice and toss it on the grill.

For lemon pork chops, you can juice a lemon into a bowl adding the finely grated lemon peel and mix in two tablespoons extra virgin olive oil and one teaspoon of dried oregano and marinate four loin pork chops in the fridge for an hour.

For more information on our curly tailed friends, The Nebraska Pork Producers knock out a “Hog Blog” to help keep up to date with exciting new cutting-edge developments on the hog front. The National Pork Board, whose slogan reads “We Care”, is very vigilant and well informed about all significant swine-related issues.

For a stunning example of the drastic effects of runaway, global warming, a wombat in Australia went berserk April 4th and attacked a Victoria man for 20 minutes.

Apparently the little blighter knocked the 60-year-old man to the ground and would not let him up, biting and scratching the man as the unbalanced beast saw fit.

An observant neighbour, upon viewing the wombat after it had been dispatched, was moved to comment, “It looked quite healthy apart from the fact it was dead.” Stay tuned here for bbq wombat recipes.

This week’s cry for help came from a struggling golfer. “Rob, I continually slice the ball, how should I change my swing?”

Dear Golfer, I would strongly suggest a Greek salad to go along with your delectable pork loin chops.

Two diced tomatoes and a cucumber, thinly sliced half of a red onion, 100 grams of feta cheese (my favourite part!), a chopped-up green pepper and ½ cup black olives should do the trick.

When the salad has been consumed, try to have your guests refrain from throwing their dishes around the immediate area, or use paper plates for health and safety reasons.

I remember most of this one big night in Pelekas right after the baklava and oceans of ouzo. The air was positively alive with laughter, song and plates.

Remember to shop locally and watch for flying plates.

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