Hi Juniper & Johnny,
My roommate’s boyfriend of three years claims to be in the process of separating from his wife, however I believe it’s a big lie. My roommate has never been to his house, he has never spent the night, they never see each other for more than an hour at a time, or go out in public. I’ve tried to voice my concerns, but she seems to be blinded by love. How do I convince her that the relationship isn’t what she thinks it is and that it’s best to move on?
— Concerned Cabin-mate on Klukshu
Juniper says: You’re right to say that she is blinded by love — keep in mind that this can be more powerful than the mighty Yukon during freshet. Unless she asks you for direction, there’s a good chance that your well-meaning advice will put a rift in your friendship at a time when your friend will need your support the most. If your hunch is correct then she will figure it out for herself, needing a solid shoulder to cry-on.
Johnny says: Juniper is absolutely correct about one thing, the love your roommate thinks she has found has put her into a trance that may be nearly impossible to break. The only way your roommate will accept this dirty claim jumper for what he truly is will be to catch him in the act. Take her for a drive, follow him home from work, and let her surprise him at the door with a fresh moose tenderloin for dinner. This will resolve the situation one way or another, just be prepared with a couple bottles of wine and some Kleenex back at your place.
My new (and recently separated) girlfriend just invited me to go on vacation to her hometown. We’re pretty early on in the relationship and I am nervous about going without knowing where this is headed, especially since we will be hanging out with some of her friends and meeting family. There is also possibility of running into the ex-husband. Should I take a leap of faith or should I stay home until I get a better idea of where we stand?
— Hesitant in Haines
Johnny says: Don’t be hesitant. If she is a good girl with good friends, they should be accepting of the situation and happy to meet you. This will be a unique opportunity to gain valuable insight into how many miles your relationship road trip may take you. Be sure to go with an open-mind and use it as a learning experience to find out more about your prospective partner.
Juniper says: Johnny is barking up the right spruce tree, but listen to your gut. If you’re questioning that this relationship might not work out, then you should probably save your vacation time. Meeting her friends and family is a big step and if this trip will cause unnecessary friction for the people who are close to her, then you should make sure that both of you are on the same page. Have an open discussion about it before you commit.